Setting Consonants on Fire

I tried running
But every time I fell down it caught up to me.
So, I started walking.
Now, most days, it holds my hand.
And sometimes I don’t mind
Because when you’re busy you don’t feel anxious…
Until you’re not busy anymore.
So, I took to setting consonants on fire.
A J today, and maybe an L tomorrow
Inhaling what feels like wind whistling through trees,
Exhaling file cabinets full of things that can be taken care of tomorrow
Because right now
I’m rolling up a J today, and maybe an L tomorrow
That way it doesn’t bother me
Even if just for a while.
I inhale fumes through lit wounds and exhale the desire to breathe.
Because I’m so consumed with have-tos and tomorrows.
Consumed with can I bes and will I bes and..
I have to
I have to
I have to light a J today and relax with an L tomorrow,
Because sometimes, I need to be able to breathe without thinking about it.